Bismillahhirrahmannirrahim .
Dengan nama allah yang maha pemurah lagi maha mengasihani.
Assalammualaikum .w.b.t
It seems that ade yg dah tersalah faham with my previous post. Actually i have no idea how people decide to get married. How it feels like to be ready, to have a person next to you everyday, and to share all your stories and problem with. How it feels like to live with someone other than your family, Boleh ke dia terima perangai kita, boleh ke dia faham kita. You know that kindda feeling. Aku tanya juga to all my friend yg dah kawen, mcm mana kita nak tahu kita dah ready utk berumah tangga and most of them said, urusan mereka dipermudahkan, ada rasa untuk ke next step, kekurangan dan kelebihan itu lah yg melengkapi, mungkin itu la namanya jodoh. Aku ade rasa tu lately but at the same i feel so insecure, rasa takut plus seeing my parents divorce makes me so overthinking and scared to get married which i shouldn't at all feel like that. Tapi tu laa perasaan tu akan dtg bila aku terfikir utk ke next step. Lagi pulak in a long distance relationship, lagi lahh so so insecure ! Macam boleh ke dia terima kerjaya aku, boleh ke dia terus setia walaupn jauh, boleh ke dia support cita cita aku nak jadi lecturer (Inshaallah doakan !). Tried to play cool, tp tu lah typical perempuan dia mana boleh simpan rasa insecure dia tu and last last terus terang. Felt relieve. Selalu aku fikir, bukan meminta tp semua benda tiada yg pasti melainkan kematian. Mati tu pasti cuma taktahu bila je. Berjodoh dgn mati dulu atau manusia. :( Perasaan nak balik malaysia, nak sambung study, nak kawen, nak ade baby tu sumeorg ada tp rasa sayang juga nak tgglkan madinah ni pun ada. Bukanlah sbb gaji sgt, rezeki tu ada je dimana mana, tp sbb madinah ni tempat semua org impikan and HE choose me to be here. Aku selalu keep in mind, sabar ana ALLAH kata belum lagi.... Yes everyone always trying to make me feel better, focus je kerja tayah fikir, jodoh tu dtg sendiri. Tapi kalau aku tak usaha and tak beri peluang adakah dia akan dtg juga ? Waalahualam. Still have no idea. Hanya allah maha mengetahui segalanya. Jadi anak last and the only daughter is not easy, you still like a baby to all of your family and mcm mana takutnya kau nak kawen and mulakan hidup baru dgn org lain, mcm tu juga laa takutnya mereka nak lepaskan kau. Macam mana takutnya kau making mistake, mcm tu jugalah takutnya mereka nak lepaskan kau pada org yg salah. But kalau mmg itu dah tertulis dia adalah jodoh kau, semua org akan berlembut hati, semuanya lancar. Jadi bersangka baiklah dgn allah which make me felt secure.
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